My Unicorn

Dream; An eerie sense of awakening, a dark desire of death.

I dreamt that you really existed. But were you ever real?
Was it just my mind's cage where you lived and were perfect?

I idolised your exuberance. I worshipped your kindness.
To not be with you was easy, because you were with me all along.
But as I got stronger, you grew fainter.
I've lost sight of your image now.

Does it mean I've finally healed?
Or that I've been emptied of love?

Question

Lights go out and I can't be saved
Tides that I tried to swim against
Brought me down upon my knees
Oh I beg, I beg and plead

The words course through the headphones, imprint on the mind and I feel my hands ball up into frustrated fists. Its morning. I've drowned myself in insomnia again. I go through the motions like a languid and mundane version of myself. I almost wish that this was about a stupid boy, at least then I wouldn't have this constant nagging doubt.

It is time. I should have known by now. What's next?
Is this one of life's eternal questions? What am I to do with my life's lessons? Or more precisely, the lessons I'm expected to have learnt in almost 16 years of education. Have I been dealt the right cards? Am I playing the wrong game?
Coherence!

Attempting to summon all reserves of optimism and playing along. Starting summoning now..

Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.
Ralph Waldo Emerson