Deep in the crevices of one’s mind, an entire lifetime unravels.
There is the story we see for ourselves,
The one that never pans out.
It is quite remarkable.
We have the self, and the idea of the self.
The mind dominates all senses,
The heart all choices.
Pleasure can be supported by this myth,
But happiness rests only with truth.
Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow. -Aesop
14 comments:
Nice thought!!!
Well I live in my imaginary world much more than the real world. So I can surely relate to that. :)
Though, I can sense the idea that you were trying to develop, and though I know it's interesting, I didn't like this post.
You may write on the same idea all over again. The length is NOT the problem; the choice of words is. The first sentence fails to have the desired impact on my mind. Rather, I think it lacks logic.
The paragraph, if I may call it, looks like a bunch of incoherent sentences forcibly grouped together.
There must be an engaging tone to a flash, with sentences that foment uncommon imagination in the readers mind, both of which this flash lacks. And worse, it fails to propagate your own idea.
You have the ability. Give your writing some time and question yourself after completing each piece.
Nice yaar!
very natural
really liked it .
this is something which we all feel but unable to express in words.. really nice..
come on prachi :))
waiting for more 2 come..
best of luck!
Sagar, I live in a world of make believe myself and we need to snap out of it.
Mihir, after trying to rationalise and be subjective, I still want to defend this post.
The words were intended to be ambiguous. The coherence is evident in this ambiguity. The conclusion is left for the reader to discern. But I would say that it lacks elaboration.
At the end of the day, I'm still a rank amateur and your opinion is always valued.
Santosh, thanks for the encouragement :)
@Mihir…It is good to have a strong opinion about things but more equally important to respect and learn from another persons viewpoint.
While you found certain sentences to be illogical and incoherent, they happened to be my personal favorites!
The paragraph has beautifully interwoven lines, and her thoughts came out strong, while also giving the reader a chance to demystify their own thoughts, regarding very simple things which hitherto at least I had not paid attention to.
@Prachi….For me, this post was extremely thought provoking experience. Keep writing and keep it “Prachi”(U know wat I mean:))!!!)
I would be the last person to criticise the ambiguity of words. I have cherished it all my life and have used it extensively in my writing. But the point here is not that. Though I think it's not deliberate, this post carried traces of a show off; traces of using constructions that may just look fanciful.
As it goes without saying, this was just my opinion. You are the mother of the post, and you know how to handle it better. You may totally disregard my suggestions and stick to your own point of view.
@ Purna: This discussion is not about what I need to or needn't understand or respect in life. It's strictly about this post. As far as I'm concerned, I'm spoilt beyond any hopes of improvement.
P.S.: Do comment on my blog too.
@Mihir.....Lol,thats not true yaa....What i meant was also this post-specific(who am i to tell u wat to do in life?... wen im blissfully unaware myself:D..
Will visit ur blog and dish my comments asap...
nice... well put....
A nice piece of work. I say nice because its open to interpretation.
But the optimist in me doesn't like the direction in which this is going. So you're saying ambitions never pan out!. I would like to disagree..call it living a myth or whatever but some say that the journey is more important than the end or the start.
On a lighter note this reminds me of the Nickelback song - Rockstar
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztU_gcuThdQ
I didn't intend to convey that we shouldn't have ambitions. I'm saying it is presumptuous to have plans, and to hope for them to always fall through. It IS all about the journey.
Btw, i hope you've been well.
well worded.i have included this one in my collection,hope you don't mind.keep posting.
wooo... what collection is this? i've never been part of one :)
^^ Not even the IRIS magazine!
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